The Eating Of Cold, Hard Butter
For dinner last night I indulged in something called Chicken Kiev.
(image: Kiev Ukraine)
For those of you unaware of the culinary enticement – and arterial impediment – I shall list a brief modus operandi of preparation: Chicken breast, rolled around a cold stick of butter, breaded, then deep fried.
Cutting into it releases a deluge of liquid that floods your gastrointestinal system with fatty goodness. (Later that evening, unfortunately, my bowels did not appreciate the gesture). Quite possibly, the meal of Chicken Kiev is the most fattening thing I’ve ever eaten.
I once remember reading about a dish that sounded even worse: chocolate covered lard. Sure enough, from the Ukrainians – who brought us Chicken Kiev – comes the Chocolate Salo:
(image: BBC)
It really is just deep fried pork fat covered in chocolate. Incidentally, the BBC report where I found Chocolate Salo also lists “Poutine” as one of the world’s most unhealthy foods – who would have thought french fries covered in cheese curds, gravy, and chicken shavings were unhealthy?
In my curiosity, I stumbled upon two other heart-stopping treats that deserve your recognition. The first is a Scottish delight that injects 1000 calories into your bloodstream: Fried Chocolate Sandwich. It consists of two slices of white bread smothered in chocolate sauce, dipped in batter, deep-fried, then covered in white sugar and more chocolate sauce, served with vanilla ice-cream:
(image: Gareth Easton via Scotsman.com)
Take a second to comprehend that idea.
The other treat is a burger that was invented by a Single-A baseball squad in St. Louis called the Gateway Grizzlies. The catch? It’s a regular burger with cheese and bacon. However, instead of buns, they use Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
(image: CBS)
Just looking at that makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little. And yet, it entices me. I don’t know about any of your gastro-culinary tendencies, but if anyone has had something as fattening as that burger, then my hat’s off to you.
that reminds me of having a deep-fried Mars bar around Lawrence/Bloor, followed by deep-fried apples hahah
I was at a bakery here and bought a random bun that turned out to be essentially your typical chinese chicken bun, that was then fried in batter so it was a soft, greasy bun, encased in a crispy, greasy shell.
)
it was great…. but it was like biting into an orange.. just instead of juice spurting everywhere, it was oil
A deep-fried Mars bar? Ridiculous! I can imagine some fast-food busboy snacking on a mars bar and accidentally dropping it in a vat of oil … but to sell it? hahaha.
I once saw the nutritional information for Cinnabon on some website and although I always knew it was an unhealthy snack choice, I was still shocked.
One Classic Cinnabon packs the following:
Calories: 730
Fat: 24 grams (almost 40% of your daily value)
Carbs: 114 grams (almost 40% of your daily value)
But, if you want to go all out and enjoy the Caramel Pecanbon, you are looking at the following:
Calories: 1100
Fat: 56 grams (basically about 90% of your daily value, so don’t plan on eating anything else that day)
Carbs: 141 grams
Gross!
Hmm. I guess I never saw the irony of picking up a 4-pack of Cinnabons on my way home from the dentist.
yeah… the deep-fried Mars bar was a Scottish invention, preceding the deep-fried chocolate sandwich
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also, I never saw a problem with picking up slice of ‘Al Pacino’ on the way home from the gym… haha. I felt it was a good way to motivate me to just work out harder next time haha
That Krispy Burger is everything that is wrong with America. I can’t stop looking at it- I may have to take some sort of epic Fear and Loathingesque voyage to the park to get one.
Shizzle: A slice of “Al Pacino” must be a reference to Papa Ceo’s, no?
Hale: I won’t go so far as to call the Krispy Burger your white whale, but should you voyage into the unknown to get one, I fear we may lose you forever.
Also topical is: Homer and the Ribwich.
of course!.. Papa is best..
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one of my fondest memories of that place was eating a greasy pizza after drinking, while the papa was watching two people bumping uglies in a softcore movie on the TV behind us
Haha, for classic goodness you can never beat the notorious “Elvis Sandwich”, which only gets better when you add bacon:
http://calorielab.com/news/2005/08/16/remembering-elvis-and-the-notorious-725-calorie-sandwich/
But the kicker would be this review of his daily menu:
http://www.menziesera.com/people/presley_recipes.shtml
The king loved his calories!
iccccckkkkk…I don’t know what part of that krispy-kreme-burger you find enticing…it’s just ALL kinds of wrong…and by the way, how are Americans allowed to sell THAT legally, but they can’t sell things like crack and heroin legally? It don’t make sense…