A few months ago my parents bequeathed to me a box containing “things” of my past. Without my knowledge, they had kept everything I had ever done since I was 3 – including report cards, drawings, letters, pictures, etc (my father took great pride in this, which tells you a lot about the man).
Among those files was a story I wrote in Junior Kindergarten – well, co-wrote, as the handwriting will shortly reveal. I want to share it with you, so here it be, in all her glory:
Page 1
(Page one does not disappoint, with a poignant self-portrait not seen since the likes of Picasso. It also reveals the date this was written: sometime between September 1985 and June 1986).
Page 2
(The caption says “I made a snowman.” Not only am I flying, but my snowman is red and the snow-covered ground is brown.)
Page 3
(My family is eating dinner in this one. Meatballs, soup, and rice. And a second table full of rice. Take note of the food theme. It shall return.)
Page 4
(“My people was home.” I saw “suns.” This was my early rapper phase.)
Page 5
(“The next time I went home, my mother was cooking.” More food. This is where my “Everybody Loves Raymond” complex develops.)
Page 6
(Coloring is fun. So is having your mommy cook you dinner.)
Page 7
(The End)!
R-Shizzle
why is your Dad spider-webbing someone at the dinner table? Did he kill off a sibling when you were young?
it’s cute that you think an abandoned wheelchair is a ‘tractor’
)
March 30, 2009 at 11:13 pm
hroman
I was always more concerned about my giant blue (euphemism), depicted on page 2.
March 31, 2009 at 8:10 am
Brookie
I have already seen and laughed at these pictures to no end, so I just wanted to say that I absolutely love the Mayor of Awesome Town! This guy has always been one of my favourite minor Simpsons characters, but it was only this past Sunday that I discovered his name is Data!
March 31, 2009 at 6:36 am
hroman
Just for you, Brookie…
Here’s a wiki page dedicated to him (he’s also known as Database):
Database.
March 31, 2009 at 8:13 am
Laura
hahahahah oh man Hamid that is great. I agree with Brooke about the mayor of awesome town. Data is an amazing character!!!!
March 31, 2009 at 8:12 am
hroman
Thanks Laura. Glad you liked it!
Watching the “Lemon of Troy” episode certainly helped to make Data the mayor of awesome town. Such a quality episode.
“This whole raid was as useless as that yellow, lemon-shaped rock over there. Wait a minute, there’s a lemon behind that rock!”
March 31, 2009 at 1:49 pm
R-Shizzle
gives a whole new meaning to ‘making a snowman’
March 31, 2009 at 10:45 am